Sindhi Marriage from Start to End, Here, we are talking about a traditional Sindhi Marriage, this is how it works in an Arranged Sindhi Marriage (Nowadays arranged marriages are very rare as most of the Marriages are Love Marriages). However, we will talk about the Good Old Arranged Sindhi Marriage.
There are many Professional Full-Time Match Makers in the Sindhi Community called Miti Maiti wara. These people bring together suitable Families and charge a fee for providing their services.
First, the Girl's family visits the Boy's place to meet the Boy and the Family, If they like the Boy as well as the Family, they invite the Boy's family to visit Girl's home and meet her and her family.
If both families approve and the Boy and the Girl like each other, things get on the way to Marriage.
The first function/Ritual in the marriage begins as follows this seals the deal or the proposal and the Girl and Boy are now officially engaged. They are now allowed to meet each other occasionally.
The second function in the Sindhi Marriage is the Pakki Misri. You can also call it the Ring Ceremony. This is a Grand Function and Friends and Families of the Girl and the Boy are invited to this function. Generally, this Function is a Cocktail Party. And a lot of Dancing takes Place. Drinks and Non-veg Food adds zing to the function. This function, like all sindhi functions, goes on till the morning.
Mahurat (Fixing Date of Marriage) After the Pakki Misri, the process of fixing the date of the marriage begins. Male members from the Boy as well as the girl's family meet and visit the Family Brahman. The Brahman finds an auspicious date for the marriage based on the Kundli of the Bride and the Groom. As soon as the marriage date is fixed, both families exchange Mithai or Sweets. The Girl's Family gives an Envelope (Laag) to the Boy's Family. Only after that, the date is disclosed to everyone. And the preparations for the marriage begin. These include making and distributing the Wedding Invitation Cards, Booking of Venue, etc
Saath (Dev Bithana)
The preparations of the marriage officially start with the Saath or Dev Bithana. This function is held separately at the Girl and Boy's home. The first Wedding Invitation card is kept before the Family Deity or Guru and only after this the invitation cards are distributed among the Friends and Family. This function also means that the marriage preparations can now begin i.e. Shopping for Wedding Clothes, Jewellery, Trousseau, etc.
There are 4 main items required for this function.
These include Ukhri Mori, Jhand, Vinjro, and, Chaju.
In the main ritual, Seven Suhagin Ladies (Married Women) grind Whole Haldi (Turmeric) in the traditional wooden Kitchen utensil Hamam Dasta (Mortal and Pestle). Sindhi Lada (Traditional Songs) are sung by ladies. Everyone Dances during the Ladas. Saath is held in the morning before breakfast. And after the rituals, Tairi (Sweet Rice) is served, followed by lunch. The Girl and the Boy are present throughout this function at their home. Behrano
After the Saath, just before the marriage, different people have different functions. Many Sindhis take out Behrana. In this function, they take the Palki of Sai Jhulelal from the home to the Jhulelal Temple. The Bahrana is accompanied by Family and friends and throughout the way, they sing traditional Bhajans of Lord Jhulelal and perform Chej, the traditional Sindhi Dance. Bahrana ends with Sindhi Special Food.
The Pathis (who read Guru Granth Sahib) chant Guru Wani from Granth Sahib Day and Night. They Change shifts to maintain continuity. The whole atmosphere becomes divine with the Guru Wani. On the 3rd day, the Paath is concluded with Bhog Sahib, which is followed by Lunch. The whole family takes part in this function. It is considered one of the most important functions in sindhi Families.
Lada Sindhi Folk songs are called Ladas. These are special sindhi songs made for Marriages. There are many humorous Ladas making fun of the Groom, Bride, and their Family. Enjoy Some of the famous ladas are...
The Lada functions are held at the Homes of the Bride and the Groom and are quite a fun affair. Everyone from the Family participates and all the members sing Ladas.
Mata ki Jyot. Sindhis are religious people, they worship not only Sai Jhulelal but many other deities. Many Sindhi Families organize Mata ki Chowki as one of the functions just before the marriage. This function too continues for the whole night. Prasad dinner is arranged after Bhajans are over. Mehandi Party
Mehandi Party is a function that is arranged at the Bride's place. This function is only for the Girls. All the girls in the family and friends are invited. Professional Mehandi artists are invited to apply Mehandi. Special Designs are made for the Bride and the Grooms name is written in Mehandi design on her Hands. They Sing Ladasa and everyone dances. In the end Every Girl gets a gift for herself. These gifts are generally Binidis, Bangles, and so on.
This is one function that is eagerly awaited by the younger generation. Sindhis are known for their Parties especially Cocktail Parties. Drinks flow freely almost for the whole night. DJ is arranged and everyone enjoys dance and music. This is the loudest function in a Sindhi Marriage. Limited guests are invited to this function compared to the Marriage reception.
Tel (Dev Bithana)
This is the second part of the Saath ritual and is held in the same spot where the saath function was held, with the same items i.e. Ukhri Mori, Jhand, Vinjro, and, Chaju. This is the concluding part of Saath Function. In this function, the Brahman/Maharaj conducts all the rituals. The Groom's Mother wears a Green or Pink Dress. This dress is gifted by the Bride's family. Seven handfuls of wheat are ground in the Jhand by Bride and the Groom and Seven Suhagins (Married Women). The Bride as well as the Groom wears the Wedding Shoe and sandal and breaks the Mitti Diya with their foot. It is believed that if the Diya breaks into pieces in the first attempt, the Pair is lucky for each other. Ghot maa (Groom's Mother) as well as the Kwar Maa (Bride's Mother) take Matka (Earthern pot) on their head and Dance. The function is called Tel (Oil) as oil is applied to the Bride's/Groom's forehead. Everyone from the Family takes blessings from the Brahman/Maharaj and applies a little oil on the Bride's/Groom's forehead.
The Tel function concludes after the Ainar (just like a Bestman) who is the Husband of Bride's Sister, takes Makhan Muharat to the Groom's Home. Makhan Mahurat is a Gagar (steel pot) filled with Sugar and 21 Whole Almonds and is decorated just like the picture below. At Groom's home, there is a very interesting function. Groom's clothes are torn by all the relatives. It is said that the shreds or threads of these clothes should be taken care of and should not be lost. These Clothes are later disposed of along with the other Pooja Materials. After the conclusion of Tel Ritual, The Groom is considered as an Avatar of Lord Vishnu. In fact, in many homes, everyone touches the groom's feet after the Tel ritual. Similarly, the Girl or Bride is considered as Goddess Laxmi.
Dikha Dikha is the final function before the actual marriage function. Dikha is held in the morning normally at the home of the Groom. The Groom gets ready for the Vedi. Ainar helps him get ready and ties Mukut on the Groom's head. Ainarani (Ainar's wife) applies Surma (Kajal) in Groom's eyes. These duties are fixed for Ainar and Ainrani. After the Groom gets ready, sindhi ladas are played on Brass Band in full force and everyone in the family dances. After this Groom's whole family leaves for the marriage venue. En route, the family first visits the temple to seek blessings. All the Groom's Family members and Friends, dance all the way to the marriage venue. Nowadays even professional Bhangra dancers are hired for this function. The atmosphere is full of Excitement and everyone enjoys these wonderful moments.
In the meantime, the Bride reaches the Marriage venue with her family. Then the Girl's whole family waits at the entrance of the venue for welcoming the Baraat i.e. the Groom and his family. The Baraat gets a grand welcome. Elders from the Bride's family welcome everyone from the Groom's family with Garlands and welcome drinks.
Now the wedding rituals start. The actual Marriage function in Sindhis is called Vedi where the bride and Groom sith around the Hwan and all the Poojas are performed while chanting Marriage Mantras.
The Couple takes 7 Pheras around this Holy fire. After the Pheras and other rituals, the Father of the Bride Gives her hand in Grooms Hands. this is called Kanya Daan. Now the Couple is formally Married.
At the Wedding (Vedi) Function, mainly Family and Extended Family members are invited. For all the other Friends and acquaintances the Reception is arranged. The Bride and Groom get blessings from all these people here. It is the most extravagant Function in the Sindhi Marriage. Sindhis are Colorful people, so are their Marriages. They show off in this function like anything. They spare no expenses. Be it the Extravagant Decorations or the Huge Buffet counters at Dinner with unlimited items. They spend money like there's no tomorrow. This trend has now reached dangerous levels. Many people are spending even than they are capable of, even if they have to borrow it. All this is because of the social Pressure to Show Off. It has become a sort of Competition where everyone wants to prove that he can spend more. Guests are invited in thousands.
This unnecessary social pressure is affecting people who have limited resources, they are almost forced to spend way more than their capability. Many social organizations are now urging people to stop this practice and arrange marriages in a more subdued manner.
Presently, due to the Pandemic, the Government has put a limit on the number of guests at Marriage functions. And people are realizing that it is not a bad thing at all. Maybe this trend of simple marriages will continue even after the Government restrictions are lifted.
There is also a new trend called Destination Wedding. All the Freinds and Family from Both the Bride's and the Groom's side get together at a Hotel, or a Resort and organize all the functions at the same Hotel/Resort in 5-4 days. Just like it was shown in the Ranbir Kapoor Deepika Padukone movie Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani.
Everything is secondary, the main thing is that The Marriage is a Meeting of Souls and it doesn't matter how much money was spent. All that matters is that the Newlywed Couple get blessings of Family and Friends and begin their new journey to a Happy Married Life on a positive note.